Chet had his “sober” campaign kickoff yesterday, and it was filled with “bluster” regarding how he plans to move this city forward.
Before his speech, Mayor Frank Jager weighed in with a prophetic statement: “In the future the council may need a referee and Chet’s got experience in that.”
Obviously Frank isn’t betting on Newman to win a seat. The bets are that the seat will go to the “new-man” Kim Bergel. Chet had a few quotes of his own, which we’ve translated so that Eureka’s voters can understand the old political double-speak.
Chet’s words (followed by our translation)
I have always looked for a fulfilling way to give back to the community. (I have always looked for a way to profit from my community, even if it means being a dastardly low-down Eureka slumlord.)
I want to continue working on projects like Cruise The West, to bring cruise ships to our port and hope to announce, in the near future, a new restaurant in the fisherman’s terminal. (I know that everyone agrees this project has been mismanaged, so I’ll promise to do something about it to keep the voters from blaming the lack of progress on the current council)
I want to see our city prosper and grow and to continue working with the Schneider dock owners to find ways to provide more living wage jobs in our abundant natural resource industry. (We’re already giving a street on waterfront drive my old buddies and backers. Now I want to help them maximize profits further by exploiting our resources. Living wage jobs be damned, we’ve got illegal immigrants or Teen Challenge to do that kind of menial work).
I’m proud of the relationships I’ve have forged with our police and fire departments to provide more public safety. (I’m proud that we put in a right wing Christian in the Police Chief spot. At least the east half of Eureka is protected! Also, it’s nice to walk around old town under the influence and screaming obscenities. O the power, the power!!! Now when are we going to get rid of all the vagrants down there?)
My background in the navy, as a sports official, as a missionary (?), as a local business owner and as a public official has helped cultivate a sense of duty and responsibility to make our community the best it could be. (I just listed off my qualifications for my tea party membership application. Hopefully nobody was paying attention. Also, Frank and Andy, when are we going to use more public funds to further our “missionary” work?)