MOLA:42’s Guide to “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”

MOLA:42’s Guide to “*The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”

I just got my sample ballot and voter’s pamphlet in the mail.

Sure enough there were all those county positions with only the incumbent running. I said it before (MOLA:42’s Guide To the “Other” County Elections)

but I think it needs saying again:

Technocrats should not be forced to run election campaigns every four years to keep their jobs. They have the impossible task of appealing to a public that has no real knowledge of what it is the candidates do for a living and therefore have no basis for determining if they are suitable for their jobs.

rex auctioneer

Technocrats positions by auction?

In my view, those positions, as many other county jobs are, should be appointed by a thoughtful and clearheaded Board of Supervisors (I heard giggling… who did that?) using their collective knowledge and good judgment (No laughing! I mean it, stop laughing! It’s not nice…) in their role as the Representatives of The People of Humboldt County (Now that’s just wrong… get back in your chairs! The floor is no place for hysterical laughing… and… Aw, what the hell).

Believe it or not (when a sentence starts with “believe it or not” it’s a good sign you better not believe it) the first unopposed election in recorded history was held by the Assyrians.

King Migslick the Tricky decided to test his popularity with his people by means of an election where his was the only name on the ballot. On Election Day citizens of the capital city were to put a clay tablet marked with an “X” in either the “Yes” box or in the “No” box.

According to the contemporary report in the Assyrian Times-Typical; the Yes box was placed at the base of the highest Ziggurat in the land while the “I No Longer Have the Will to Live box”… I mean, the No box, was placed at the top.

The Yes box was rapidly filling with clay tablets when Durthsap the Dim climbed the steps of the Ziggurat and placed his tablet in the No box.

assyrian war devilQuoting the Assyrian Times-Typical story: “Then Lo! There was then a miracle! As Durthsap did take to the air and Lo! He did fly, and Lo! He was clothed in Heavenly Flames. But Lo! Durthsap did fall from the heavens to the unforgiving earth below despite the brave efforts to save him by the eighteen Royal Guards (and the Royal Sacred Fire Starter) that Lo! Were positioned at the top of the Ziggurat to attend the Royal No box.”

Migslick the Tricky won the election 50,263 to 2 (someone even more misguided than Durthsap the Dim showed up later) which was quite an accomplishment considering only around 15,000 people were eligible to vote.

A final note: The following day Migslick the Tricky sent a message to the Assyrian Times-Typical that the next time someone used the word “Lo!” in a sentence he would personally chase the offender through town with his chariot.

What is the meaning of the story? I haven’t a clue.

There was another inspiration for this article other than what arrived in my mail.

Very recently in the Tuluwat Examiner discussion forum a commenter made the usual observation that when paraphrased goes; “Our leaders are all corrupt bums and you knuckleheads voted them into office and so screw you.” It’s not a rare comment; in one form or another it’s seen a lot here in the TE and even a whole lot more in the LoCO.

It is time to present an informal set of definitions:

To be CRITICAL, which is the style the Tuluwat Examiner typically uses, is to investigate a subject by close examination and describe the findings (often in a negative light but not necessarily).

To be CYNICAL is to take a shallow look at the state of things, observe how intractable the problems are and then wring one’s hands in frustration and proclaim, “Thank God I’m not responsible for how screwed-up things are.” That was the viewpoint of the commenter who wrote the short essay about the corrupt bums.

It really isn’t very useful (but is very cynical) to proclaim to the world the not-so-novel declaration, “Throw the Bums Out,” when you don’t name the “Bums” in particular that require the throwing and don’t suggest

Da Bums

Da Bums

an alternative “Non-Bum” to put in the “Bum’s” place (He’s going on with the quotation marks again! Chase him around town with a chariot; that will teach him!).

There are ways to counter the Bums; that is what democracy is all about. But to give up and proclaim one is powerless to do anything about them is not democratic at all. Doing nothing is acquiescing to tyranny.

I imagine if one were to hold a “Cynic’s Convention” and get all the “Anti-Bummers” (use a whip too when you’re chasing him with the chariot) in one room they would eventually produce two sets of contradictory lists. First, who are the individual Bums in question and second who should replace the Bums (otherwise known as the Bums-in-Waiting).

For you see, there are two kinds of Bums out there; the Bums you agree with and the Bums you don’t (every politician is SOMEBODY’S Bum).

So what is the moral of this not very coherent saga?

Democracy IS the Process, not the people selected to run the Process.

founding fathers

The Examiner wishes we still had these people



You can reform processes, systems, governments, etc.; you can’t reform people.

They stay the same.



The answer for us locally is we push for and/or enhance what is in the process that prevents the Bums from acting like Bums: Adherence to the Brown Act, open competitive bidding for contracts paid for by the taxpayers and election finance reform are a start.

But only a start.








Standard Disclaimer: My opinions are my own and not necessarily those of the Tuluwat Examiner. I am not on the Staff of the Tuluwat Examiner. I don’t even know who these people are. But I am told the Tuluwat Examiner Staff plan to run their own candidate for the Board of Supervisors; Giggles the Clown.

We gotta killer candidate

We gotta killer candidate

Unfortunately they have the problem of how to make Giggles stand out from the rest of the candidates.


Giggles for BS!







*The Revolution Will Not Be Televised           Gil Scott-Heron

gil scott












16 thoughts on “MOLA:42’s Guide to “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”

  1. I said: “Joe Blow – May 3, 2014 –
    4:54 pm

    “You vote the incompetent,
    self-serving, corrupt, lawless and baseless morons into office, YOU
    own them and whatever they do. Thank you for nothing.

    Mola says: “Very recently in the
    Tuluwat Examiner discussion forum a commenter made the usual
    observation that when paraphrased goes; ‘Our leaders are all corrupt
    bums and you knuckleheads voted them into office and so screw you.’”

    This is the “typical” Mola
    “paraphrase” way of lying about people he doesn’t like. He says
    what he WANTS people to say, NOT what they actually say. More than
    likely, he’s too obtuse to understand what they say and too malicious
    or deviate to ask. In the end he achieves the deception of his
    misdirected goal of going after the person rather than the facts of
    their observations. This is “knucklehead corruption” at it’s essence.

    His solutions, are FAILED solutions,
    even before starting: “The answer for us locally is we push for
    and/or enhance what is in the process that prevents the Bums from
    acting like Bums: Adherence to the Brown Act, open competitive
    bidding for contracts paid for by the taxpayers and election finance
    reform are a start.”

    These kinds of things are tried and
    tried everywhere ad infinitum and are proven to NEVER work. Why?
    Because known dishonest, unethical and lawless “politicians” are
    repeatedly voted into office.

    By the way, when I said, “the voter
    owns those people voted into office,” that means the voter IS
    RESPONSIBLE and ACCOUNTABLE for those they elect. Understand now?
    That means, if you don’t know, to paraphrase Mola, the voters repeatedly screwed
    themselves and deservedly so.  


    • I just can’t seem to keep from hurting your feelings Mr. Blow. Honestly, it’s never my intent to annoy you but I just seem to have a gift for it.

      But really, how do you know your comment was the one I was paraphrasing?

      I merely noted a comment (not necessarily yours as I pointed out comments like that were common) and made a paraphrase that covered that genre of observation.

      The rest of your response makes good sense. I don’t agree; but that doesn’t keep what you are saying from making a valid point worth discussing.

      Always a joy to hear from you Mr. Blow.


    • Sensitive much! Joe Blow, not every post is directed toward you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. And just to be clear (although I did not think it needed spelling out):

    In no way did I say the individual politician who misbehaves should not be held to account. Any corrupt politician should be turned out and should be charged and tried for their crimes.

    That is a part of the process I talked about that perhaps needs exercise.

    I am quite aware of what happened in Bell California.

    Nor was it my intention to relieve the voter of his or her responsibility.

    Indeed, what I wrote REQUIRES the vigilance of the voters to ensure the brakes on a politician’s power work.

    In my quest for the virtue of Brevity I perhaps made an assumption of understanding that did require stating. For that I apologize to one and all.


  3. It’s all personal with you isn’t it, Mola?

    The two comments were made as referenced, they speak for themselves. I didn’t see you reference another if they’re as numerous as you say. I haven’t seen any on this blog. Too bad you can’t see what you’re doing to substantiate the legitimacy of my observations and your own responses that undercut your own legitimacy. Your weasel ways seem to always catch up to you.


    • Personal? Moi?

      You’re the one getting uptight, not me.

      You would have a legitimate beef with me if I quoted your comment, thus making you own your own statement. I did not.

      I paraphrased; meaning it’s no longer about you it’s about a concept. I tried very hard not to single you out but you don’t seem to appreciate that.

      If anyone has weaseled their own cause it is you by making a fuss about something that one way or another doesn’t say anything about what I wrote (I mean concerning your claiming to be… mis-paraphrased?). You probably are the only reader of my article that connected what you said earlier to what I was paraphrasing.

      Until now.

      Whether I quoted you or paraphrased a concept, what I wrote and what I meant would still stand unchanged.

      But I did (and still do) give you credit for raising a good argument on other more legitimate issues.

      But… if it will make you happy:

      You are the Winner! Wheeeee!! You have manfully defeated the illegitimate weasel which is myself and thus made the world a better place to live.

      I congratulate you sir on your hard won victory. I shall now break all my fingers so never again will I pose with my keyboard a menace to all the Free Peoples of the World.



  4. Still don’t see any examples…

    To quote another Anonymous commenter about someone the nearly rivals Mola that says it all: “Mockery is an interesting human behavior that often masks irrational and exaggerated feelings of self-doubt, insecurity, and low self-esteem, temporarily relieved by condemning other’s beliefs.

    You may now return to your regularly scheduled mockery, hope you feel better soon….”


  5. For now, the interim solution is: Kerrigan, Latour, Firpo. And for the unopposed, “write-in”


  6. Mola, You make interesting points but you really need a copy editor. About half your words could be deleted and just the red meat would be left. I start yawning and my eyes glaze over and then I go on to something else, like the go to the refrigerator or mow the lawn. Unless I am reading a novel I don’t want to spend that much time getting to the point. The TE is more like a news paper than a novel. Just the facts please. Sorry.


    • I disagree. Mola’s post’s are funny and well thought out. It’s nice to have a Wednesday break with some laughs from Mola. If it’s not your thing, just don’t look at the TE on Weds!

      Liked by 1 person

    • What can I say? It’s my style (or lack thereof).

      I know I can’t appeal to everyone, I’m sorry you fall into that category. All I can do is tell a story or frame an opinion in my own way.

      The TE is kind enough to allow me the forum and for that I am grateful. But perhaps you can suggest someone to them who will better fill your needs? (I’m not trying to be snarky, really. I’m sure the TE is happy to see any well written, well thought out article; the bar must be pretty low since they let me do it).

      By the by, I just heard from my copy editor and I’d stay out of her way if I were you (Yes, I do have a copy editor).

      Perhaps I (and my copy editor) will do better by you next time?


    • Nurtz… I meant to properly address my comment to watchman.

      But bless your heart Mola Fan; I hope I never let you down.


  7. I enjoy the subjects Mola. Maybe my attention span is getting shorter with age. I do enjoy your short and SWEET reply’s. I had to retake the written drives test recently and reading the rules of the road book drove me nuts.
    but I passed so it was time well spent. You would think being retired I would spend more time reading long tomes, but alas no. i will say this, your words are best served with my morning cup of joe. Keep it up Mola.


    • Thank you.

      I’ll try to convince my Copy Editor to stop trying to track you down (kidding of course, she’s the sweetest, most mild mannered person you’ll ever meet; unless…).

      I hear you; my attention span isn’t getting any better either.


  8. 10 Points to MOLA for telling Joe Blowhard off.

    2 Points taken away from MOLA for the rambling stories before the laughs.

    Final outcome MOLA is still a winner.


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